first, they managed to make US acknowledge their perfection: remember how cats were considered sacred in ancient Egypt? how they had a cat god, Bastet, who was supposed to embody the creator/nurturer/destroyer aspect of the triple goddess [life, death, rebirth]?
there you go, first strategical blow. they won that round.
also, they managed to set up a complete language of signs and telepathic waves to make us understand them and bend to their every will.
they use cuteness first, to make sure we'll obey. I mean, look at that:
a kind of sad, "pweez ai needz u" look is one of their weapons of choice.next we have displays of "affection", although in fact, they're throwing us a bone here: all that paw lifting, brushing against our legs, purring (i could go on) are used against human emotional weaknesses to reduce the victims (aka the "owners") to slavery.
a cat almost never needs to beg for something explicitly, unless his humans are a bit slow; for instance, a cat sitting for a few seconds in front of a door without moving, will finally see it open itself, just for him, to let him in/out/whatever. some cats can open doors of course (that's so primitively easy for them) but they just love seeing humans do it for them too much.
as for nourishment, sitting or walking around the food bowl will do fine. the human in charge will end up understanding that "his" cat is hungry/thirsty and wants to be fed properly. the menu is to be outstanding, otherwise the feline guest won't eat it. if occasional chunks of (good) meat just so happen to fall off some table/shelf/any high up flat place, the cat will find himself served well and will reward his subjects with the right to cuddle him. when he feels like it, which is usually when you want to sleep.
of course, a cat wouldn't need any of that to feed himself. these fellows are good hunters, and could easily live on bird/mouse hunting, which is more considered as a good sport to stay in shape (bit of running, poking the prey until it dies, concentrating on what kind of sadistic games you can play with said prey, etc)... and a very classical way to make humans think "their" cat loves them, because he brings "gifts"! alright, these are more or less eaten, half alive, and shrieking in agony, but that's not a cat's problem, and therefore, humans shouldn't feel bad about those things. they should rather focus on keeping the toilets clean and the food bowls full when needed. oh, and bring the toys out from under the closet; your masters are too lazy to go fetch them. that'd make their fur all messy and dusty if you didn't clean the house properly.
although they can wash themselves very well, some cats have raised their humans so well that they get groomed daily, ergo they don't need to wash themselves, thanks to an excellent room service. this allows them to have a nice 18 hour sleep every day. and no one minds because everyone knows, deep down, that they're way more evolved than us lousy humans who think they "own" a cat.
for, indeed, you don't own a cat; the cat owns you. he chooses you as his personal servant (consider this as an privilege) , and unless you really want to unleash an untimely rage, which will result in either an atomic mushroom, or, if you're lucky, mangled arms, or if you're even luckier, the cat leaving, you don't want to go against his will. and we're unconsciously accepting all that. ain't that a proof of a cat's superior psychic abilities?
you have to keep in mind that a cat doesn't depend on you. he can walk himself and poop without having you standing next to him to pick up everything. unless he's a bourgeois cat and has his litter, and in that case he expects you to check and clean it on a regular basis. but that's just obvious.
but those examples are nothing compared to the dangers we'll soon have to face. being a cat lover, completely enslaved by their cuteness and their perfect abuse of my personality, i won't be able to resist their takeover... maybe someone else can do the job? (yes, they infected me with procrastination, help me i'm screwed here).
they've been indulgent enough to warn us about their intentions. check lolcats... well of course, that sounds silly alright. but still!...
they can use a computer, unnoticed, which makes it easier for them to communicate orders between the ranks of their revolutionary army, formed to take over our civilisation!
they start taking the bus! in fact, they're slowly getting used to our ways of living, in order to understand them better so that they know what we need and therefore they can take that as an advantage against us.
come to think about it, these guys are pretty useless. i mean, they could hunt our mice down, at least, but since we're feeding them they find that kind of activity pretty useless so most of them will just wave at any critter passing by. anyone seeing other uses for a cat? it can't be bothered by protecting your house while you're away, will certainly not obey you when you tell it to "sit", "lay", "play dead"... and if you feel like playing fetch with it, prepare to go get the ball yourself, you lazy unthankful vassal. yet we still manage to love them, because they're "kyoot" and "schweet" and "sooooo soft". any idea how many crazy old cat ladies there are in the world? enough not to build just a sect, but an entire cat venerating religion!
reaching such a state of civilisation, with such discretion, has never been performed by any other kind of animals. soon they'll have developed into an improved version of our society and environment, which they'll use to slowly overtake us. obviously, cats are superior to humans. and we're all doomed.
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